Scratchy, Itchy, Icky even....

I've been wearing suspenders since the day of my birth,
only now they're much bigger, because of my girth.

I wear burlap pants as I haven't much money,
so it's not a fun time when the day's hot and sunny.

I shopped for a belt once, and my size they had not,
so I tied two belts together and became overwrought.

So it's back to suspenders with my hot, burlap pants,
they're unpleasantly scratchy, and I've noticed a rash.

(author unknown)