The Eye Exam...

A couple of weeks ago, I made 2 appointments - 1st was to have our taxes done and 2nd was to have our yearly eye exams. Now, I was absolutely certain that they were both scheduled for noon on consecutive Saturdays! We went last week and had our taxes done, which was relatively painless -just hand over our life history during the past year and listen to our tax lady type information into the computer (from the back side of the monitor where we cannot see a blasted thing!) - 1 hour later, *VOILA* she hands out our sentence. Would you like some cheese with that whine, she asks?? No thank you, just a tissue to blow my nose and wipe away the tear, thank you very much!
So this morning I woke up knowing today was the day for the dreaded "puff of air" test. I was sipping my coffee, sitting at the computer waiting for 10am to call and confirm the actual appt. with the front desk. DeGreve?? says the voice on the other end... you dont have an appointment at 12 OR 12:30. Aaah - wait here it is, you are scheduled at 10:15 this morning. Time froze... I quickly looked at the bottom right corner of the monitor to see it was 10:08!! And sorry, we are booked solid for the rest of the day. (sigh) I told her we would be there in 15 minutes and ran like a banshee downstairs to break the news to hubs that he had to get dressed and meet me at the car in 2 minutes. Now, some things you will never forget - no matter how young in life they happen to you. For me, it was the feeling of waking up late on a school day, scrambling around looking for my glasses and looking up just in time to see the big yellow blurrrrrrr of the school bus as it drove right past my home! HORROR OF HORRORS!!!
As all heck broke loose and hubs was just this side of a rant, we managed to brush our teeth, get dressed, jump in the car and make it to the vision center at 10:30 on the nose. ~ whew ~
So I'm waiting for them to call my name and I started looking at frames, knowing full well I was getting a new pair whether I needed them or not. I grow bored with the same thing day in and day out so new glasses were definately in order. All was going along just fine and then I heard it... Karen and Darrell, ready for your tests?? I've been having eye exams since the 3rd grade when I had to start wearing glasses and I can tolerate alot of things - but I hate the Glucoma Test, better known as the "puff of air" test. My palms sweat bad enough waiting for the wavy spots and clicking the clicker at the right time. Then you get to read the line lowest on the line up - and I know I can never read that bottom line, which makes me feel like a failure! The farm house in the distance has always been the calm before the storm to me because I know the last and most dreaded test is the one where she tells me to press my forehead against the bar and stare with eyes wide open at the infrared light that is boring a hole in my head. I know it's coming - and she is trying to distract me but my eyes wont stop watering or blinking because I'm anticipating what is coming - that puff of air! arrrrgh... I have go through it twice and usually I blink at least one time so they have to do it all over again.
So in the middle of all this, why does my mind always wander back to Alex in "Clockwork Orange" when his eyes are pried wide open to expose him to things he would surely turn away from if he could?
Well, I made it through the rest of the exam and frame selection and as we are driving home, $950 lighter in the wallet, hubs turns to me and says "that wasn't so bad, was it?" RRRRIGHT....at least I have a year to recover until I have to go through this all over again!